


Safe Sex For Hunters 101

by Anonymous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Body Horror, Caring Castiel (Supernatural), Caring Sam Winchester, F/M, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Sam Going Above And Beyond The Call Of Brotherly Duty, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Sick Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21564205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The lady seemed okay before Dean went to bed with her.It’s only when he wakes up alone and in agony the next morning that he figures maybe he got it wrong this time.Anyway, they do say the cure is often worse than the disease.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21
Collections: Supernatural Anon Kink Meme





	Safe Sex For Hunters 101

**Author's Note:**

> So, it’s worth noting Dean is not a happy bunny in this, understandably, and both he and Sam will probably be scarred for life since Sam has to render some hands on assistance to a certain part of Dean in order to help him get better.
> 
> If you’re grossed out by body horror, please be aware there’s a fair bit of it in this story.

“You didn’t even check?”

Dean groaned as he slumped back on the infirmary bed. His stomach was churning, and the last thing he needed right then, after a one night stand gone wrong, a pretty horrific discovery in the morning and a twelve hour drive home in just his boxers (jacket over his lap, hoping nobody got close enough to notice his partial nudity) was to have his little brother chastising him because he didn’t use _protection_.

_Their_ kind of protection.

“If it helps,” Cas said, over Sam’s phone, which was lying on the nearby table set to loudspeaker, “ _Nutemi_ are very hard to spot and most of the standard tests don’t expose them. They’re not malicious; it’s just that most human males develop an allergic reaction to their-“

“Anyway,” Sam said, and Dean didn’t know why his brother was looking green around the gills when it was _him_ whose dick looked like he’d caught every STD known to man. “You sure this’ll work?”

He had on thick rubber gloves, and he was holding a steaming hot towel in his hands.

Dean eyed him, still not sure he wouldn’t rather wait this one out than have Sam, uh, _treat_ him.

“Yes,” Cas said. “In every case I’ve heard of. Except one.”

Dean knew it was like poking an open wound but he couldn’t help himself.

“And the one where it didn’t work?”

Cas fell silent.

“Cas?”

“He survived, and I think his quality of life post penectomy was adequate.”

Dean snapped his fingers at Sam, and then grit his teeth as his brother draped the towel over his dick.

It hurt; it hurt a lot and Dean didn’t even try to hide it. It felt like somebody had poured boiling water right over him, but Cas had promised them the heat was necessary to remove the scabs that had formed like a crust over every inch of Dean’s penis.

The next part would be even worse, but Dean settled his focus on getting through this one before he worried about that.

It took about thirty minutes, and Sam changing the towel twice, before the green tinged layer started to loosen; Dean couldn’t look as Sam started picking away at it, and yeah, they’d done some truly mortifying shit for each other over the years, but this, this had to be it.

Nothing was ever topping this one.

He knew when Sam was done because his brother made a sound that was half nausea-half sigh of relief and only then did Dean dare look.

His dick was red and swollen and he could see tiny bloody marks where the scabs hadn’t wanted to come away easily.

“It looks...better.”

“Dean.” He got that in duplicate, both Sam and Cas saying his name at the exact same moment, like they’d rehearsed it or something, but he guessed they were both just that good at reading him.

“Fine, okay, do it.” Could they blame him for trying to dodge the next part?

He watched Sam change over his gloves, and then turn around with a jug filled to the brim with a frothy yellowish liquid, and the narrowest funnel he’d ever seen.

Trust him to pick the wrong woman to sleep with while Cas was five states away, but he’d done it, and here he was, and all that was left was for Sam to get on with it.

He nearly jumped off the bed when Sam slid the funnel into his peehole, and he panted his way through the pain until it came down from ‘a penectomy would be preferable’ levels to ‘endurable if he wasn’t actually conscious’.

Sam held his dick as firmly as he could without causing Dean more pain, and then tipped the jug, pouring Cas’s anti-supernatural-STD elixir down the funnel and holy shit if any of it had hurt so far, it was a pinprick compared to that.

Dean actually screamed, and then Sam cursed and yanked out the funnel (yeah, thanks little brother) just as the mixture came frothing back out as a dirty grey colour.

It seemed to take forever, and then it was done, and Dean actually was sick, puking over the side of the bed and just missing Sam’s shoes.

Cas was yelling at them, and okay, Dean couldn’t grudge him a little panic, and he reached out past Sam for the phone.

Sam pressed it into his hand.

“I’m okay, Cas,” he said. “There was, uh, some kind of yuk that just came pouring right out.”

_Of me_. Maybe that Nur-whatever hadn’t meant to leave him with a gift after their encounter, but Dean was cursing her big time.

“That means it’s over,” the angel reassured him. “But you need to sleep, now, Dean.”

No shit. He could feel himself slipping under already, and he passed the phone back to Sam before he turned carefully on to his side.

Half naked, dick and legs covered in drying elixir and he gave not a shit about it.

He couldn’t make out what Sam and Cas were saying; Sam had turned off the loudspeaker, and was keeping his voice low, and then he stopped speaking altogether.

A moment later, Dean felt a blanket being draped gently over him, and the lights were turned down low.

The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was a chair being pulled up close to the bed.


End file.
